Post Valentine’s – Sex Is Not A Gift

Valentine’s Day was on a Wednesday, dead in the middle of the week. And everyone was geared up to show the special people in their lives how much they love them. On the day, we saw conversations flying on social media of how people were spending the day with their significant others and the presents they got. It was literally boyfriend / girlfriend olympics. We asked some colleagues and partners  how they were going to spend their Valentines evenings and 80% of them said they were going to go for dinner and spark up some romance afterwards at home. It got us wondering if Valentine’s Day has been turned into a day to be celebrated with “Sex”. Don’t get us wrong, Everyone loves some passionate love making. But that being said, sex is not something that should be considered to be a gift on Valentine’s Day, or any other holiday for that matter.

After further enquiry, it was revealed that there is a heightened expectation surrounding Valentine’s Day to end it off with sex. This, by the way can lead to engaging in an uncomfortable or unwanted sexual experience as a “gift” to a partner. One lady mentioned that to say ‘no’ is to be rude, or even selfish. And for young people and adults, regardless of their gender, this message can be an undertone of Valentine’s Day, when celebrating love has been conflicted with intimacy as gift giving.

What’s not written in the cards that we exchange on the day is that love never comes at the expense of consent, because love can’t exist without consent. Don’t let Valentine’s Day be the only time you show love and are pressured into having sex with someone. Consent actually makes Valentine’s Day sexier. This should go without saying, but Valentine’s Day should not be the only time you show the person you love that they are important. They should know what they mean to you every single day of the year. If anything, just like sex at the end of the night, Valentine’s Day should be the exclamation point on your love, something that puts those feelings on a hundred thousand trillion.

Whatever you do to celebrate, enjoy yourself with it. Make sure your loved one enjoys it too.

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