Years of pain, toil and suffering at the hands of an inconsiderate man might result in you developing very low self-esteem. You might find yourself doubting your outlook, personality and womanhood. Constant harassment, cheating, physical and emotional assaults might just push you to the end of the bridge where there will be no firm handle to grip on, leading to your retreat. But sometimes, the best way out is separation; which ultimately makes a breakup the hardest thing to ever go through. Leaving a man after investing your time, effort, emotions, body and finances, is not easy… But, DID HE EVER LOVE YOU?
Being in a relationship can be complicated. There comes a point when the pain becomes so unbearable but instead of leaving, there’s a tendency in women to ‘cling on to the old flames.’ In those instances when the relationship is not working out anymore, the fear of failure or rejection can be an overwhelming reality so instead of packing the bags and exiting, “ndiri kushingirira, zvichanaka” might become a norm. As a woman, realising that you’re now an option isn’t easy! Finding out if he still cares is always complex because if he doesn’t want you anymore, that reality check really hurts. And at times after going through numerous humiliations: a blue eye, multiple voice messages from other women, lingerie sets in his car e.t.c… asking him if he still loves you is like opening a can of worms. But for you to heal, there’s need for you to confront reality. Sometimes asking yourself, ‘Did he ever love me?’ might help in solving your love puzzle. Needless to say, most women are in relationships just because of societal expectations/because he was her first. But, is that really the point? ‘I do’ is a serious commitment so if you’re going to wallow in misery for the rest of your life after vows, it’s better to be single. “I’m in too deep” might be your excuse, but just how deep is deep? If he has the audacity to treat you like a second class citizen, you’re better off alone with a drama-free life than with a man.
Moving on is the best healing process as you might find it to be more relaxing and fulfilling than staying. What matters in life isn’t what society thinks but rather, your wellbeing as a person.
By Miriam C.R Mushaikwa