A lot of us grow up with the idea that a soulmate has to be the ‘perfect guy’ and movies like Cinderella and Rapunzel did not help change our minds. In fact, they made most young women eager to grow up and meet their soulmate. According to these classic favorites, once you meet Prince Charming and get married you lived happily ever after, so from a young age a lot of young women grow up with the perception that a soulmate equals a happy life. However, we know and we realize that this is not always the case.
When we grow older, our circles get smaller in size but bigger in value and you realize that your prince charming may not exactly be Mr right. I believe a soulmate is a person with whom you are undoubtedly drawn to be in a relationship with, whether platonic or romantic. Soulmates are brought into a person’s life so that they can grow and expand into the best version of themselves and I believe that they can be a good circle of friends that support you, build you, cry with you and love you unconditionally. These women can fill the roles that most young women reserve for their Prince Charming. They are your biggest cheerleaders and your biggest critics , they are the friends who are ready with your favorite ice cream and a box of tissues when you are heartbroken and they are ready with your favorite bottle of wine when you are celebrating. They are the ones you stay up late to talk to and go on and on about the cute guy you saw today. They let you know when you are looking good or when your eyebrows aren’t done properly. These relationships are not based on romance and are purely platonic.
As young women, we should feel free to change the definition of a soulmate and let go of the idea that a tall, dark and handsome prince is going to show up and fix everything (I mean he might) and actually start drawing strength and support from the friends that care for us. Soulmates should be people who feed your soul, people who spot your wig about to fall off from a mile away and run towards you with a headwrap, women who call you out on your foolishness and will probably approve of your husband before even your mom does. In a society that shuns singleness and praises marriages and relationships, young women may feel that platonic relationships are not important and this forces them to seek relationships that may be unhealthy and toxic relationships and that is why women need to empower and encourage each other to fully utilize their potential.
Your platonic relationships are important because and they act as a foundation to the kind of relationship you are going to have with your romantic lover. If you have real relationships that feed you before you find your romantic partner, it makes your relationship better with your romantic partner because you know love and your friends will be there before you find your partner and will be there even if it doesn’t work out. So the next time someone asks you if you have found your soulmate, say you have found them and they are treating you well.
by Denise Karira